What Is Matrescence? Understanding the Life-Changing Transition into Motherhood
If you've ever found yourself thinking, "I don't feel like myself anymore," you're not alone.
Many women describe becoming a mother as one of the most profound experiences of their lives, yet at the same time, one of the most confusing. You may have expected your life to change, but perhaps you didn't expect you to change quite so much.
You might feel like you've lost parts of yourself. Your priorities have shifted. Your relationships feel different. Your career suddenly doesn't fit in the same way it once did. Or maybe you simply can't explain why everything feels so different.
The good news is that what you're experiencing has a name.
It's called matrescence.
In this episode of The Mothership Podcast, I sat down with matrescence educator and founder of The Matrescence Project, Beth, to explore what matrescence really is, why so few women have heard of it, and how simply understanding the word can completely change the way we experience motherhood.
What is matrescence?
Matrescence is the physical, emotional, psychological, social and identity transition a woman goes through when she becomes a mother.
It's often compared to adolescence because, just like teenagers, mothers experience huge changes in their brains, bodies, relationships and sense of identity. The difference is that most of us are prepared for adolescence. We expect teenagers to change.
Very few of us are prepared for how much motherhood changes us.
One of the things Beth explains beautifully is that while every mother experiences matrescence, no two journeys look exactly the same.
Some women struggle with body image.
Others find returning to work incredibly difficult.
Some experience changes in friendships or relationships, while others question their identity or confidence.
Matrescence is universal, but it is also deeply personal.
Why having a name for it matters
One of the most powerful moments in our conversation was hearing Beth describe the relief she felt when she first discovered the word matrescence.
Suddenly, there was an explanation.
A way to describe what she was feeling.
A language she could use with her partner, family and friends.
For so many mothers, that's incredibly validating.
Instead of wondering "What's wrong with me?", you begin to realise that you're navigating a completely normal developmental transition.
There's nothing wrong with you.
You're changing because motherhood changes you.
That shift in perspective alone can lift so much of the guilt, confusion and isolation many women carry.
Why comparison can make motherhood even harder
It's so easy to look at another mum and assume she's coping better than you are.
Maybe she seems confident returning to work.
Maybe she looks comfortable in her body.
Maybe she appears to have everything organised while you're just trying to get through the day.
But comparison only tells us part of the story.
As Beth points out, another mother's struggles may simply be different from yours. The woman who seems completely at ease returning to work may be quietly grieving changes in her identity. The mum who appears confident physically may be struggling emotionally behind closed doors.
Motherhood isn't a competition.
Every woman carries different challenges, even if we can't always see them.
Returning to work isn't simply "going back"
This part of the conversation really resonated with me.
Before becoming a mother, many of us build our identity around our careers. We work hard, achieve goals and develop skills that help us progress professionally.
Then we have children.
When the time comes to return from maternity leave, we're often expected to step straight back into our previous role as though nothing has changed.
But everything has changed.
You have changed.
Returning to work isn't about going back to the person you were before. It's about discovering how your career fits alongside the person you've become.
That's a very different conversation.
It's also why I believe workplaces have such an important role to play in understanding matrescence and supporting parents through this transition, rather than expecting them to simply "bounce back."
Why understanding matrescence shouldn't stop with mothers
One thing Beth is particularly passionate about is making sure this conversation doesn't stay between mothers.
Partners.
Grandparents.
Friends.
Managers.
Employers.
Healthcare professionals.
The more people who understand what matrescence is, the more supported mothers can feel.
Because the reality is that mothers shouldn't have to explain or justify every change they're experiencing.
Imagine how different it would feel if the people around you already understood that becoming a mother is one of the biggest developmental transitions a woman will ever experience.
That understanding has the power to change conversations at home, in friendships and in workplaces alike.
Motherhood changes you—and that's okay
Perhaps the biggest takeaway from this conversation is that matrescence isn't something to fear.
Yes, motherhood changes us.
Yes, some of those changes can feel uncomfortable or unexpected.
But change isn't always loss.
Motherhood expands us.
It reshapes our values, our relationships and often our understanding of ourselves.
Some things may no longer fit in the way they once did, but many new parts of ourselves emerge too.
Understanding matrescence doesn't remove the challenges of motherhood, but it does remind us that those challenges are part of a completely normal human experience.
And sometimes, simply knowing that can make all the difference.
Listen to the full conversation
If this resonates with you, I think you'll really enjoy my conversation with Beth on The Mothership Podcast. We explore matrescence in much more depth, including why the language we use matters, how workplaces can better support mothers, and why understanding this transition has the power to change the experience of motherhood for future generations.
Listen to the full episode by clicking the link above or wherever you get your podcasts.